Tin? Really?

Apparently, having survived marriage with me from this day...

...till now entitles Dave to a gift made of tin.

For ten years of supporting my shenanigans, he gets what amounts to a soup can?

No way! When I finally remembered at 4:40pm today that it was our anniversary, I vowed to give Dave something special. So here you go, babe: a roadmap away from this tin crap...

See? We're just a short jaunt from silver. And then just a quick hop to gold. And from there...platinum! Or if you like it more radioactive, mercury! Or some as-yet-unnamed and completely unstable substance!

Yup, that sounds about right.

Love ya, sweets. Happy 10th.

Oh, come on. You knew one of your anniversary cards was gonna be a periodic table. Don't act all surprised now. ;)