Why Social Media Is Great for Shy People

Why are shy people shy?

Who knows? But those of us who are -- or have been -- can probably cite a defining shy moment. Mine came at a skate rink when I was five, and my Dad (the rink guard) released me on the boys' end of the rink during the Snowball, and no one would skate with me.

That sucked. As a baby and toddler, I'd been pretty gregarious. But then something happened (SNOWBALL!!!), and I retreated to the sidelines.

I want my outgoing self back, and have been coaxing her off the bench for a long time. That I had my 20th high school reunion last summer was a big motivation. Turns out my shyness handicap wasn't as high as I thought it was (unlike my golf handicap, which -- if I played golf -- would be in the 40s, probably).

No matter how high your shyness handicap, there are social media outlets to get you in the game.

Shyness Handicap 5: Reading Online
Take your pick here: blogs, message boards, Twitter conversations. You can begin to get comfortable around other personalities on your own terms. You don't have to type a word.

Sooner or later, though, somebody's gonna mention your favorite band, book, restaurant, team, or dish soap...

Shyness Handicap 4: Commenting Online
...and you just have to pipe up. I'd guess most blogs allow comments. (Of the ones I read, only one doesn't allow comments, though the author does accept email.) All you have to do is introduce yourself and say something that adds to the conversation. If you're on Twitter, you'll need to join (free); the same goes with many message boards.

Shyness Handicap 3: Creating Online Content
Then one day, an idea for a post pops into your head.

Or you suddenly want 10 million people to know what you're doing RIGHT NOW.

Or your gerbil just did something hilarious with that squeaky toy and you got it on video.

You're ready to create online content. Sign up for a blog account (Blogger, Wordpress, and Live Journal are popular platforms), and go for it. Or get going on Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, or YouTube, and give us something interesting to read or watch.

Shyness Handicap 2: Creating Online Connections
Say your high school reunion is approaching, and you want to ease into it, like I did. Facebook and MySpace are great for this, because you can search for people by what school they attended. When you find someone, you ask to be friends (much easier online than in person!)(also, slightly less awkward). When someone accepts your request, check out their other friends to see if you know anyone, and friend them.

For the most part, everyone I've friended has friended me back. I have no idea how many haven't, but I don't care, either -- why should I when all of these people are willing to make a connection. This can be a tough step in the social media process; if you're worried about rejection, put out a lot of (meaningful) requests -- you'll lose track of those who don't respond.

Shyness Handicap 1: Leading Online Groups or Chats
Now that you have all these friends, why not get some collaborative, collective doings started?

Have a hobby? On Facebook, you can start a group for likeminded hobbyists.

Want to discuss books? Goodreads lets you start online book clubs.

Want to have a virtual roundtable about children's literature? Create a hashtag (#yourtopic) on Twitter and get the word out (but in this case, first check out #kidlitchat, to be led by @BonnieAdamson and @gregpincus).

It may take a while to get folks to join in -- maybe they're still shy, or just haven't heard of your awesome idea. Keep trying. After all, you've come this far, right?

Which begs the question, "If I'm starting online groups and conversations, why do I still have a shyness handicap?"

Tough love answer: Because you're still not doing those things face to face. But the more you interact with people online, the more comfortable you'll become making similar connections with the people you see every day.

Or maybe you won't. That's cool, too. Social media is all about being social on your terms.

The good news is: everyone reading this has a handicap of at least 5. :)

So! Are you shy? If so, what have you done to break out of your comfort zone? Has social media played a role? (If you answer these questions in a comment, it has!)

[image via Happy Doodle Land]
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